Let’s be honest — not everyone’s out there looking for their soulmate over sangria. Sometimes, you just want someone who’s hot, fun, and chill… without the emotional tax. That’s where the friend with benefits (FWB) comes in.
But finding one? Yeah, it’s not as easy as texting “U up?” at 2 AM. So, let’s break down how to actually find a friend with benefits, without wrecking your sanity (or social circle).
First, Know What You’re Getting Into
FWB is not a casual hookup. It’s more than a one-night stand and way less than a relationship. You’re friends. You’re intimate. But you don’t do couple-y things like brunch with mum or IKEA trips.
According to Wikipedia, it’s a type of relationship where people engage in regular sexual activity without romantic commitment. Sounds simple, right? But emotions have a way of messing things up.
So before anything: check your motives. Are you emotionally available? Are you cool with not being exclusive? Be honest with yourself (and the other person), or don’t even go there.
Where to Find a Friend With Benefits
Let’s skip the outdated advice about “finding someone in your friend group.” Unless you want drama, keep your friend group intact. Instead, try these places:
1. Dating Apps (but with a filter)
Not all dating apps are built for hookups, but many let you clarify your intentions. Use filters like “casual,” “open to fun,” or “no strings attached.” Good options:
- Tinder (obviously)
- Feeld (if you’re into something more open-minded)
- OkCupid (you can literally list “FWB” as a goal)
📌 Tip: Don’t just say “no drama” on your bio — explain what you actually want. Try something like:
“Looking for good vibes, laughter, and a little heat — no expectations, just honesty.”
Want a shortcut? Here’s a list of the Best Hookup Sites and Dating Sites for Men that actually help you connect with like-minded people, whether you’re after fun or friends-with-benefits situations.
2. Forums and Niche Sites
You’d be surprised how many people use Reddit (r/r4r, r/dirtyr4r), or dedicated hookup sites. Just make sure to use verified platforms. For example, we regularly review the best hookup sites based on real user feedback and results.
3. Real-Life Events (Yes, Still a Thing)
Attend events that lean into adult vibes: kink nights, adult workshops, or meetups around alternative relationships. These tend to attract open-minded, sex-positive folks.
As Glamour points out in their FWB guide, communication is EVERYTHING. So whether you meet online or offline, your opening line matters more than your abs.
How to Bring It Up Without Sounding Creepy
Let’s be clear: “Wanna be my friend with benefits?” is not a pick-up line.
Instead, build a vibe first. Be playful, but upfront. Share your intentions and ask about theirs. Something like:
“I’m in a place where I’m not looking for something serious — more like a fun connection with mutual respect. Does that sound like something you’d enjoy?”
And please, don’t get salty if they say no. Respect = sexy.
Ground Rules = Good Times
If you’re lucky enough to find a great FWB, don’t skip the boring stuff. Set some basic rules:
- Are you exclusive or open?
- Sleepovers or just fun and done?
- Do you hang out platonically too?
- What happens if someone catches feelings?
As BBC explains in their psychology piece, this setup can work if both parties communicate clearly and frequently.
What Could Go Wrong?
- You fall for them (classic).
- They start dating someone else, and you feel weird.
- They ghost you because “they found someone serious.”
Yep, it happens. And it hurts. That’s why it’s key to check in regularly, be emotionally mature, and know when it’s time to call it quits.
Keep It Light, Keep It Honest
A successful FWB situation isn’t about being cold-hearted or avoiding intimacy — it’s about respecting boundaries, embracing the moment, and knowing what you both signed up for.
If you’re clear, honest, and respectful, this can be a whole vibe.
And hey — no one said it can’t turn into something more someday. But that’s a whole other post 😉
Check our related posts:
No Romance, Just Sex: Why Casual Hookups Still Rule
Online Hookup: How to Turn Flirty Texting Into Real Adult Pleasure
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