Alright, real talk: I used to ignore red flags like I was colourblind.
She trashed her ex? “She’s just being honest.”
Rude to the waiter? “Maybe she’s having a bad day.”
Told me she doesn’t “believe in relationships”? “Cool, she’s just free-spirited.”
Nope. I was just being dumb. And let me tell you, first date warning signs are there for a reason — miss them early, and you’ll pay for it later (usually in unread texts and a bruised ego).
So here’s my list of red flags on the first date I’ve personally bumped into, ignored, and later regretted. Learn from my pain.
🚩 1. She Can’t Shut Up About Her Ex
One girl told me about her ex so much, I felt like I knew the guy. Name, job, car, even his mum’s name. I was like, “Do you wanna date me or trauma-dump about Kyle?”
Look, we all have pasts, but if she’s still emotionally wrestling with hers, you’re just a temporary distraction. And trust me — being someone’s emotional pit stop never ends well.
According to Psychology Today, people who obsess over past partners usually aren’t done with them emotionally. That’s your cue to keep it moving.
🚩 2. She’s Rude to Staff
This is one of those red flags during a date that hits you in the face, but you really want to ignore it if she’s hot. Don’t.
If she treats the waiter like crap, that’s not sass — it’s a preview of how she’ll treat you when she’s comfortable. The woman who made fun of our waitress’s accent? She later yelled at me because I didn’t know how to fold laundry “the right way.”
Don’t be me. Glamour says it best: how they treat people they don’t “need” shows who they really are.
🚩 3. It’s a Monologue, Not a Conversation
If I leave a date knowing her star sign, her therapist’s name, and every episode of her relationship history — but she doesn’t know my last name — that’s not a date. That’s a podcast I didn’t subscribe to.
If she can’t ask basic questions like, “What do you do?” or “Why did you pick this place?” — she’s either not into you or just in love with hearing herself talk.
Signs she’s not into you? That’s one of the biggest.
🚩 4. She Has No Idea What She’s Looking For
I once asked a girl what she was looking for and she said,
“I’m just going with the flow… not really into defining things.”
Cool. Ambiguity. That’s exactly how adult relationships work — said no one ever.
Whether you’re looking for a serious thing or a one-night vibe, clarity is everything. I’ve had way better luck on platforms that are upfront about intentions. If you’re tired of the guesswork too, check out some of the Best Hookup Sites and Dating Sites for Men — way less fluff, way more people who say what they want.
🚩 5. The Instant Soulmate Vibes
“You feel different.”
“I don’t usually feel this close to someone this fast.”
“I think I manifested you.”
Ma’am. We’re on our first cocktail.
This isn’t romantic — it’s love-bombing. And according to Healthline, it’s usually the start of manipulation disguised as affection. I used to fall for this. Now I’m out the second she says “I’m not like other girls.”
🚩 6. Her Phone Is Basically a Third Person at the Table
You ever try to open up about something and she’s too busy sending “LMAO” to a group chat? Brutal.
We all check our phones. But if she can’t stay present for 20 minutes, what makes you think she’ll be present in any actual relationship, hookup, or even pillow talk?
This is modern disrespect — subtle, but loud.
✅ When It Actually Feels Good
Sometimes, everything just clicks. You’re vibing, she’s laughing at your dumb stories, asking thoughtful stuff, no weird power games. And you leave the date thinking, “Damn. That was… normal. In the best way.”
That’s how it’s supposed to feel.
But to get more dates like that? You’ve gotta filter better — early. Spotting first date warning signs saves you time, energy, and future therapy bills.
And if you’re tired of wasting time with people who are just looking for validation or attention, try looking where the signals are clearer. That’s why I started using the Best Hookup Sites and Dating Sites for Men — no guesswork, no mixed messages, just people who want the same stuff I do.
My Closing Advice
You know what the biggest red flag is? Ignoring your gut. I’ve done it. Thought, “Maybe she’s just nervous” or “She’ll open up later.” Spoiler: she didn’t. Or she did… in a very unhinged way.
So here’s your cheat sheet:
📌 Trash talks her ex — run
📌 Rude to staff — bigger red flag than it seems
📌 Never asks about you — she’s not into it
📌 No clue what she wants — prepare for confusion
📌 Too intense too fast — check your boundaries
📌 Phone in hand all night — you deserve better
You’re not being picky — you’re just learning to stop ignoring the signs.
Check out the related posts:
Dating Tips for Beginners: What No One Tells You (But Should)
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