A few years ago, if you’d asked me about finding a FWB, I would have told you it’s something that “just happens” if you’re lucky. No strategy, no plan — just random chemistry with someone you already know. But the dating world has changed massively.
In 2025, the best way to find FWB is less about luck and more about being intentional. People are open about wanting casual connections, and there are tools and communities dedicated to making it happen without the emotional landmines.
How to Find a Friend with Benefits in 2025
One thing I’ve learned? Finding a friend with benefits in today’s world is 50% mindset, 50% execution.
When I first tried, I was too indirect. I’d hang out with women I liked, flirt a bit, and just hope they’d magically say, “Wanna be FWB?” Spoiler: That never happened.
Here’s what worked instead:
- Being upfront – The first time I told someone directly, “I’m not looking for a relationship, but I’d like to have something casual if you’re open,” she actually said, “Me too.”
- Knowing where to look – It’s not just bars and clubs anymore. There are dating apps and niche hookup sites where people openly say “looking for casual fun.”
- Avoiding friends who want more – I’ve made the mistake of starting FWB with someone who secretly wanted a relationship. It didn’t end well.
Psychology Today says the main reason FWBs fail is mismatched expectations from the start — one person hopes it turns into love, the other doesn’t.
Best Way to Meet FWB Online
If you’re asking me what’s the best way to find FWB online, here’s my straight answer: go where people are already looking for casual.
- Dating apps with “relationship type” filters – Apps like this allow you to set “casual” or “friends with benefits” as your goal. Saves time and awkward conversations.
- Specialized hookup platforms – Some niche dating sites are dedicated to casual meetups, which means no need to explain the concept.
- Online communities and groups – Believe it or not, I’ve had an FWB start from a gaming forum. We met in-person during a meet-up, clicked, and kept it casual.
Personal tip: When messaging online, don’t overcomplicate it. My go-to opener is:
“You seem fun. I’m looking for something casual and drama-free. Want to grab a drink and see if we click?”
As BBC points out, online dating has normalized stating your intentions up front, especially among younger generations.
Where to Look for FWB Offline
Sure, online is easier, but some of my best FWBs came from real-life connections.
- Hobby groups and activities – I met one woman at a photography workshop. We bonded over terrible lighting conditions and ended up seeing each other casually for six months.
- Through mutual friends – Once a buddy set me up with his co-worker. We were both fresh out of relationships, so FWB made sense.
- Casual social spots – Low-key bars, sports events, or even volunteer work can be great for meeting like-minded people.
Glamour notes that meeting someone in a mutual social circle can make FWB easier because you already have a baseline of trust.
How to Start a Friend with Benefits Relationship
I learned this one the hard way. I once started an FWB without discussing rules, and she got upset when I started seeing someone else. Lesson learned: talk first.
Here’s my step-by-step for how to start a FWB relationship:
- Have the conversation – Be direct about what you want.
- Set boundaries – Are you exclusive? How often will you meet?
- Be consistent – No ghosting and reappearing.
- Keep the fun alive – Plan things outside the bedroom too.
Rules for Keeping It Casual and Fun
FWBs work best when you keep emotions in check and respect each other’s lives.
- Don’t play the partner role – No meeting the family or daily check-ins.
- Maintain independence – Keep your dating life active if that’s agreed upon.
- Avoid jealousy triggers – If you’re seeing others, don’t rub it in their face.
One of my longest FWBs lasted eight months because we both traveled often, had busy lives, and didn’t rely on each other for emotional support.
FWB Safety Tips You Should Know
Even if you’re not looking for commitment, you still need to protect yourself.
- Meet in public first – Especially if it’s from online.
- Tell a friend where you’re going – I always do this before a first meetup.
- Use protection always – No excuses.
- Avoid mixing heavy drinking with first meetups – It clouds judgment.
WebMD warns that consistent protection not only prevents STDs but reduces stress from unexpected consequences.
FAQ: Can a FWB Relationship Turn Serious?
1. What does FWB mean in dating?
FWB stands for “Friends with Benefits,” a type of relationship where two people are friends but also engage in physical intimacy without committing to a romantic partnership.
2. What is the best way to find a friend with benefits in my city?
Combine online dating apps with local events. Set your profile to “casual” or “short-term fun,” and attend hobby groups, networking events, or social bars in your area.
3. Can you find FWB without dating apps?
Yes. Many FWBs start from real-life interactions — through mutual friends, at the gym, in classes, or at social events.
4. How do I tell someone I want a friends with benefits relationship?
Be direct but respectful: “I like spending time with you, but I’m not looking for a relationship. Would you be open to a casual arrangement?”
5. How do you keep a friend with benefits drama free?
Set boundaries early, communicate openly, don’t blur emotional lines, and maintain your independence.
6. How to start a friend with benefits relationship without ruining the friendship?
Have an honest talk about expectations, keep emotional involvement in check, and avoid overstepping into “partner” territory.
7. Is it possible to have a long-term FWB relationship?
Yes, if both people are on the same page, have busy independent lives, and keep communication clear.
8. Can a FWB relationship turn into love?
It can, but it’s unpredictable. If feelings grow, discuss it openly to avoid misunderstandings.
9. Are friends with benefits relationships safe?
They can be safe if you use protection, meet in secure settings, and maintain honest communication about health and exclusivity.
10. What are the biggest mistakes people make in FWB relationships?
- Not setting clear rules from the start
- Letting jealousy creep in
- Expecting it to naturally turn into a romance
11. How do you end a FWB relationship without awkwardness?
Be honest, thank the other person for the time you spent together, and avoid ghosting.
12. What are the best apps to find a friend with benefits?
Look for best hookup sites and dating sites with explicit “casual” filters, niche hookup platforms, and local event-based apps.
In 2025, finding a friend with benefits and knowing the best way to find FWB is easier than ever if you’re intentional, honest, and respectful. Whether you go online or offline, remember: FWBs are meant to add excitement to your life, not stress.
